I have finally admitted to myself that my current 9-5 thing is just not for me.
My brain is not stimulated, it’s too much physical work, I’m not particularly excited about the items I work with, I get crazy customers which is to be expected but the friendly atmosphere the place had before in terms of the relationship between managers and staff has now been replaced by a cold and boring one, the pay is OK at best and the hours are ridiculous and all over the place.
I write this not as a complaint, I write it as a public confession so it’s real and I start taking action to change it. THIS isn’t working and I refuse to carry on settling.
One of the most irritating things to hear in the history of the world, is light-eyed white girls with brown or ginger hair talk about blue eyed white girls with blonde hair like they look nothing like them and are just another entity, and I’m sitting here with my black hair, black eyes, brown skin and Asian features like what are you even, you are one peroxide treatment away from that…
the worst thing about being shy and introverted is that you most of the time come off as cold and arrogant like you think you’re better than everyone else and thats why you don’t talk to people or hang out with them but it’s really the opposite its like you’re so uncomfortable with yourself that you don’t wanna share it with anyone else so you just dont and people think you’re an asshole but you’re actually just really scared
Anyone that doesn’t understand that you’re shy/introverted and thinks it’s because you’re an asshole and takes you being quiet personally IS NOT WORTH YOUR TIME. Embrace the fact that you’re quiet and you’ll be able to tell those people to fuck off. Seriously, being quiet is a good people filter because you don’t need people like that in your life you need patient kind people in your life. Being quiet should never be looked at as a bad thing ever.
Ideally you’d be right and everyone who assumes that would be a good for nothing shallow jerk and thus easily dismissed, but sadly that’s not always true.
A lot of these kinds of judgement are down to how humans perceive and process body language, facial expressions and social queues based on previous experience, and therefore recognise certain combinations of behaviour to mean something based on a repeated patterns. We ALL do it. i.e if someone’s sobbing we assume they’re sad because of previous experiences in similar circumstances until they clarify that they’re crying from the shock of winning the lottery
As someone who has been and IS being judged as mentioned in the original text on a daily basis, I’d be the first to say that it would be completely unreasonable of me to expect other human beings to NEVER rely on their own reflexive cognitive patterns with which they’re born and which we ALL use, in case of coming across someone like me who’s simply misunderstood.
A lot of people who assumed the aforementioned about me in our first meetings are now friends, and a handful are some of the most important people in my life,
Friends who I see regularly: “Oh you’d prefer to go by your middle name? Cool, it’s not gonna be easy but I’ll try my best to adapt to calling you Ariana.”
Friends who see me a handful of times a year at best: “But how will I get used to it? But I know you AS Asal, you’ll always be Asal to me xoxo”
…Yeah there’s clearly a reason I see said first group more often.
Dear anons of tumblr, remember when I said “ don’t expect a reply. Bore someone else”?
Somehow that still stands a mere few minutes later…I happen to be stubborn like that, my opinions last more than a few minutes. I will delete all of your messages until you message me off anonymous.
If you want to disagree with me on something, in particular something about which you profess to hold strong beliefs, feel free to have the courage of your convictions and message me off anon. Then we’ll talk like two adults.
In my experience anonymity allows people more room for irrationality and shrillness and I won’t be on the receiving end of that kind of childish, boring excuse for a discussion.
So if you send me an anonymous message of the aforementioned nature, don’t expect a reply. Bore someone else.
In my opinion one of the most bizarre frequently used sentences is “I would wear/do X if I could pull it off”.
What does that even mean?
You have a body/face don’t you? Put what you want on it! You’ll be “pulling it off” once you actually try it.
Do what you want with your clothes, makeup, hair and general personal style, life is way too short to put off being fabulous because of some bullshit unwritten rules.
Has “bloated” now become a code word for over-weight or something?
Because every time I mention being bloated, which has happened a lot in the last few months due to a now discovered gluten intolerance or my monthly fab-lady-time, people assure me that I’m slim.
My being slim doesn’t exempt me from feeling like something from the alien movies is about to burst out of my stomach when I’m bloated, your logic is baffling.